So I'm a bit frightened because until now, I still haven't decided on what course I'll be taking in college.

I used to want to be an actress or an author or a singer or a musician. I'd move to New York and become famous in Hollywood, meet people more famous than I am, party with my fans, meet the guy of my life, get married, live in a spacious home in a peaceful town with our three lovely children: Alice, Anastasia, and a boy I haven't named yet.

But those were the days when I could still dream about how amazing my future would be and how someday I would become very successful at the things I do. Now, I'm an incoming third year high school, and I still haven't found the right course for me to study on when I go to college. Mom says I should just pick a course where I know I'll make a lot of money. She doesn't understand. I don't want to pick a course where I know I won't enjoy. I believe in the saying, "Choose a job that you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life again." I want to choose a course where I'll be able to learn and at the same time enjoy. And when time comes when I'll have to choose a job, I'll choose the one I'm most certain I'll enjoy in. I tried to base my course on my talents and skills; unfortunately, the only talent I have playing the piano and eating. Where's my future in that? You'll only become famous in the piano if you're as good as Yiruma, Beethoven or Mozart. And I've seen people in Youtube play the piano far better than I ever could. And it's not the insecurity talking right now. And eating? Please. That's not even a real talent! You know what that means? I have no future! I'll die alone with no work and with my 83 cats! While my brother is prolly busy signing autographs in peoples' papers, I'll be alone in my apartment, doing nothing but breathe and eat and sleep and pretty soon die out of loneliness and depression! Gaaaaaah!

Okay. So I may have exaggerated a little bit. But I'm just saying. I'm afraid terrified of the future. Very, very terrified, indeed. I don't know what my future looks like, but I hope there's a bit good in it. And with this, I say goodbye.

Until my next blog entry. -Alice