And I hate it.
You don't know who I'm talking about, do you? Well, it's probably better if you don't. I'm not going to type his name in here (for now); someone might probably see and begin spreading rumors about it and stuff, so yeah. Anyway, I honestly hate it. It's weird. I fell in love in the past, and it was not cool. At first I thought it was and that nothing bad will ever happen, but I was wrong, as always. Sure, there's nothing wrong with liking someone. But mine's different! I have never spoke to him, not even once. I don't even think he knows who I am! It sucks. I want to forget about him, really. But it's hard. Like, my mind keeps telling me to back out, but my heart keeps telling me to go on, fight, and never give up until he starts liking me back. But that's the thing; I don't ever think I'd be able to live up to his standards. He's popular and talented, and almost every girl in school likes him or thinks he's cute. Meanwhile, I'm the girl who stays in the sidelines and is only quiet when talking to friends. Who would be such a fool to like someone like me?
Le sigh. If only a miracle would happen, then I'd be happy.
Dear Alice,
ReplyDeleteRight now you are stuck between a junction, two choices, and unable to move forward. Either to love or to forget, which both choices aren't easy. It's alright to think a boy is cute even if you not know them, and I know how it is to feel that way. But yes, it is up to you to make that choice. To love or to forget.
As my personality has it ways, I always advise to love and die than to forget. While reading to the end, I felt that you were degrading yourself. "I don't ever live up to his standards" You said. 'Ever'? 'Live up to his standards'? You don't have to live up to someone's standard. Nobody can be the everyone they want to be, and all you have to do is to live like yourself. Be confident to live like yourself. Confidence is very important. And I can tell you are lacking it. Confident starts by loving yourself. Loving every single part of you, even the bad things about yourself.
You have to believe in yourself, Alice. Because if you believe you can do it, you CAN do it. No matter what the other people says. With confidence, you will know how to confront him. On most cases, when someone wants to talk to another person, they expect each other to be the one confronting. It never works like that. You have to take the action, risk it, and if you fail, observe some chick-fic novels and see what they would do! (Just kidding, if you fail, at least you learn new experiences. I always think to myself, that I am so screwed when I grow up because I didn't have experiences I should have at teenagehood. Like heartbreaks, overstress and betrayal to understand how much harder it will be at adulthood.)
Oh, and a tip here, avoiding doesn't help to fall out of love, you will only fall deeper. If you wish to forget him, find a distraction. A new hobby, something that will keep you in full concentration from the boy. I find that also a win-win situation, because you not only forget the unworthy boy, and you also learnt something here.
I hope you will be more confident in yourself and please, don't degrade yourself anymore. It's heartbreakening. I wish the best for you, Alice.
Love,
Germaine.
Dear Germaine,
DeleteWow, that was long. I'm glad you gave your spare time to read my post (which I'm wondering how you were able to find it). You're right, I do lack confidence. I'm trying my best to build it up, although it's really hard. I used to have confidence; I lost it, probably when I turned 12 and went through my first year of high school, where a BUNCH of stuff happened. I guess the experience lowered my self-esteem and stuff like that. My friends are helping me become more confident as well, which is great. I'm glad you're helping me too, in a way. I SERIOUSLY want to talk to him but, like I said, I lack the confidence to do so. And he's a year ahead of me, which makes it much harder to be close to him. So, I guess I shouldn't forget about him, but just embrace my feelings for him? or... Eh. I guess I'll just do that.
P.S. Your comment made me cry. In a good way! Thank you, Germaine. You're truly awesome. I wish the same for you too. ^^
Love always,
Alice :3