December 5, 2012

... I can't explain how happy I am right now.

This day, which is just before his birthday, has been one of the best days of my life. This afternoon, we had yet another practice for the mass that we'll be having this Friday. He and his other batch mates had a symposium, and so he wasn't able to attend the practice. So since he wasn't there, who played the piano?

I did. They forced me. And since I had no choice, I played. Quite well, actually. At first I was nervous as heck, but the more I played, the more confident I felt. It was amazing, the feeling. Just after our practice, he came still in his symposium uniform which are long-sleeved polo with a maroon necktie and slacks... And you know what? He was so hot. He was just so... unf. You know how a fan-girl feels when he sees a photoset of her favorite celebrity, topless? Aw, yeah. That's what I felt.

Everyone else left. Only my friends, him and I stayed. The two of us played, and I helped him in what he missed. We never left each other's side. We were pretty close, come to think of it. My friends said we looked so romantic together. My friend, Antonette, even teased that we looked like some married couple and she's like, "I'm your daughter!" Neither of us reacted on that because it was sao awkward.

Well, after that insanely epic and awkward practice with him, we left the chapel. Still together. We all walked together. Him, me, Antonette, Roanne, and Hazel. And since my friends really like to kill me because yes, they said, "Oh, kapit-kapit, guys! Mahigpit dapat, walang bibitaw!" Having no choice but to join, he and I held each other just like how prom dates would hold together as they enter the room (I hope you understand what I'm trying to say).

That awkward yet amazing feeling when you had physical contact with the guy you are most certainly in love with and yet you still don't want to admit your feelings about him. And it is the first time that something like this has happened to me. I feel like I'm on cloud nine and I can't get out. I'm just stuck there, giggling and being all giddy and kilig and stuff. Yeah.

After a few minutes, everybody else let go of their firm grip. Everyone but us. We were stuck like that for quite sometime. It was like he had forgotten that we were holding onto each other and we're just walking like that. It was awkward. Weird. Everything. I couldn't breathe. Soon enough, I gestured for him to let me go, since he was basically the one having the tight grip. He was like, "Oh, I'm sorry." And smiled. At least I think he smiled. He's always smiling, and whenever he does, his face shines as bright as the sun and it lights me up, making me smile too. That may have sounded a bit too exaggerated, but come on. I'm in love with the guy. That's what I feel about him and I'm not ashamed. I only don't like saying, "I'm in love with him," mostly because I don't want to seem desperate. I'm not. I love him for him. And this love that I feel for him does not ask for anything in return. Respect, maybe. But it doesn't matter if he feels the same way or not. I guess, as long as he's happy, then I'm happy. That's what I feel for him. My love for him is as pure as a newborn baby held tightly by his mother as he sleeps. Nothing else matters, but for him to be completely happy and contented with his life.

I probably got a bit off-track. I'm really sorry for that. I'm sorry if you had to read all of that. But if you did read it all the way, up until the end, then I congratulate you. And of course, I thank you for giving me at least 7 minutes of your time to read this. But if you doubt that I'm telling the truth, I am. I really do love him. You just haven't met this person yet. This guy, this troll of a guy, is such a fantastic person. He's funny, he's sweet. He's kind and gentle. He respects girls, and everybody else. He doesn't choose his friends. He doesn't boast his talents. Instead, he offers it to the Lord as he plays for Him during the mass. He is the best guy that I have ever met. I'm glad I got the chance to meet him, even if it's a bit too late. I could've made friends with him earlier, but I didn't. I'm only glad that God made it able for us to meet and share some moments together. And you know what? Even if we don't end up together, I'm still happy that I get to say that I have met the perfect person. He may not be truly perfect, but he's perfect to me. He's everything that I ever wanted. All that I want from a guy, he's got it. I don't love him for his looks. Heck, he can go bald if he wanted to! (I'm not saying that he should, though.) I just want to be able to spend the next chapters of my life with the man who I know will take care of me and love me for who I am, and won't ever ask anything for return.

Also, it may be a bit too early since it still tomorrow, but I will say it anyway.

Happy Birthday, Kuya. Take care always, and don't ever change. I wish you knew how I felt for you. Maybe then you'd realized how awesomely perfect (and a troll!) you are. Wish you the best, and may many more birthdays come. I love you~ trololol =)) XD